Perhaps some of you
reading this moved here mere months or weeks ago for one of the reasons listed
above. Exploring and learning the intricacies of this vast metropolis can be
both intimidating and laborious. The traffic is detestable and often unnerving.
Too many motorists do not understand the difference between the Sam Houston Toll Way
and the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Yikes. Do not distress. I am here to help
you acclimatize and acculturate with an indisputable panacea: food. The
quickest way to fall in love with this city and forget those aforementioned
negatives is to eat at one of the hundreds of renowned restaurants here.
I ventured to San Diego , Los Angeles , San Francisco and New York
in the last 18 months and can say with conviction that nothing I ate in any of
those ultra-urban places dwarfs what Houston
offers. Did I delight in some meals in New York
and California
that I will remember for the rest of my days? You bet. I’m still dreaming about
the homemade chocolate sauce at The Ivy in Beverly Hills
and the roasted duck and Tsartini at Firebird in Manhattan ’s Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood. The
best part of living in Houston
is you can eat the kind of meal I just described at least once a week, and in
many cases, do it without burning through your life savings. In San Francisco , parking a
rental car somewhere can lead to a bankruptcy declaration. In Houston , the worst-case scenario is a $3 tip
given to a valet.
With the newest
transplants in mind, I decided to publish a list of my 28 favorite restaurants.
I hope friends and long-time residents will also read it. This is one man’s
opinion and qualifies as no more than an introductory appetizer. I chose the
number 28 to honor both my age and years as a Houstonian. I was born in Tomball
and have lived in Spring, the Westheimer area, Atascocita, Spring Branch, the
Montrose and Shepherd areas, Spring Cypress and the Heights. Therefore, this list
encompasses every part of the region, including a legendary, family-owned and
first-class seafood alcazar on Galveston
Island .
This inventory does
not include national or Texas
restaurant chains. That explains the absence of Brennan’s, Pappasito’s,
Fuddruckers, Fogo de Chao, Chama Gaucha, Russo’s New York Pizzeria, Del
Frisco’s, the Egg and I and many others. If it’s available in any other city,
it’s not on here. I focused on the eateries unique to Houston —with the exception of two honorable
mentions—that placate my zest for distinguished food. I listed the
establishments in alphabetical order. Happy reading and bon appetit!
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Mama’s Café – map – 6019 Westheimer Road [CLOSED (but never forgotten)]
The mark of a legendary, four-star
restaurant is the ability to make a patron crave a dish or an ingredient he/she
would not order anywhere else. I do not loathe coconuts, but the taste does not
dance on my palate, like, say, hazelnut or cajeta. Mama's coconut cream pie was
divine. My tastebuds want a piece so bad right now. I have ordered that dessert
at other places. It did not compare. I would not order it anywhere else.
The McQueeny salad was memorable and tasty
enough that I ordered it even during the five-year period when management removed
it from the menu. There was not a better chicken fried steak or chicken fried
chicken rendition in Texas .
I have sampled the country fried goodness at all of the heralded spots on the Houston Chronicle, Houston Press, Texas Monthly
and other vaunted lists. Try me. The broccoli rice casserole alone was worth a
trip. I want a heaping helping of it as part of my last meal, whenever my time
to exit this earth arrives.
If the building ever re-opens as the Mama’s
I described above, consider breaking the speed limit to get there just after I
do. The food and the memories are worth every penny and bite. To read my full review, click here.
There is still, thankfully, a Mama’s in San
Antonio .
One defunct family tradition I
would like to resuscitate: Christmas-time gatherings at Maggiano’s, where the
family-style menu option provides bountiful fulfillment and endless
opportunities for pleasurable, smile-inducing conversation.
The Olive Garden may champion a
family-first environment, but it serves up the equivalent of gas station
perfume to its guests. The chain’s customary no-zip, sapless proficiency may
satiate some appetites but not mine. I prefer the scent of Coco Chanel or any
department store fragrance to a cut-rate option that makes its user smell like
he/she just bathed in a backed up toilet. If Olive Garden’s edible but flat
food compares to a passable Motel 6 room, Maggiano’s is a Penthouse suite at
the Plaza hotel.
I realize that the smell or image
of a stopped up commode is not appetizing, so I’ll conclude this blurb with the
dishes that keep me coming back. The calamari fritte, chopped salad, ravioli
with braised veal, chicken saltimbocca, fontina potatoes and chocolate zuccotto
cake are consistent culinary triumphs.
THE LIST
59 Diner – map –
It does not astonish me that food snobs and critics tend to
omit this Houston
staple from ‘best of’ lists. It just chagrins me. This cheap yet fetching cluster
– with spots throughout the city – stays open 24-7. Its offerings can cure
hangovers, ease the malady of a break up, and it hosts office and school
parties. The prices are so reasonable you will think you have robbed the place
when you head for the door.
The key to understanding 59 Diner’s consistent excellence is
knowing what not to eat. A friend once tried to order the chicken marsala , and I threatened
to slap him as if he had just insulted my mother. Do not force me to give you
the death stare. Learn from the passengers in the movie Airplane! and stay away from the fish. Stick to the breakfast
items, the pot roast, the chicken tenders and the fries. The bodacious
breakfast tacos make my taste buds happier than Dikembe Mutombo blocking a shot.
The best milkshakes, aside from the ones at Amy’s and Hank’s ice creams, are
blended here. Come early or come way late, say, at 4 a.m. No fuss. No need for
cloth napkins knotted to look like swans. Just great grub any time you want it,
all the time.
I would traverse the Sahara Desert
barefoot in a black leather jacket and sweatpants just for one serving of the
breakfast potatoes. OK, I exaggerated a bit there. I have, however, waited more
than an hour in Houston ’s
100-degree torridity for a seat and a plate of the scrumptious pumpkin
pancakes. Everything on the menu, including the chicken fried steak and the
chicken-apple sausage, is worth the considerable effort it can take to find
parking and an open table.
The cramped quarters might make the dining experience
uncomfortable for those accustomed to grandiose spaces and plush, leather
seats, but the food will turn that griping mouth into a gobbling one. Unlike
the sister restaurants in the Barnaby’s chain, the Baby version only serves
breakfast and closes at noon on weekdays and 2 p.m. on weekends.
The family responsible for Hugo’s
and Prego pours its DNA into this indulgent café with dazzling décor, a
charming patio area and dishes Kate Middleton would pony up to have at her
birthday dinner. The seasonal American fare at Backstreet is prepared with an
imaginative flair that would make the folks at Pixar jealous. A few examples of
executive chef Hugo Ortega’s flawless touch: bacon-wrapped quail with a cheddar
chive biscuit and spicy smoked corn sauce, roasted pear salad, coffee crusted
beef tenderloin with spicy maple chipotle bourbon sauce, ragout of slow-roasted
lamb, chicken milanesa with prosciutto, and cauliflower couscous.
Patrons can rent lavish private
rooms to host wedding and baby showers or other celebrations with family and
friends. As you should expect, this extravagance comes at a steep price. You
must pay it at least once before you die. That is a command, not a suggestion.
Café Lili Lebanese Grill – map – 5757 Westheimer Road # 112
This expedient, speedy and
affordable Lebanese café makes the best falafel in town. The hummus and meat
pies also merit a special mention. What I love most at Café Lili, though, is
the simple, pleasant atmosphere that beckons adventurous eaters without
pretense.
The word “bistro” does not have
to mean you leave the establishment missing one arm and leg, with an empty
wallet, shedding steady tears. Chatter’s delivers hearty, artful cuisine
without committing highway robbery. The menu will torment indecisive diners
because it features everything from stir-fries, loaded salads and steaks to
kabobs, artichoke misto and magnificent lasagna. Forget the Big Mac at McDonald’s.
The Chatter’s spread put on every burger is real “special sauce.” I often order
the same two items: the zucchini fritters with horseradish-spiked ranch and the
fried pork chops with peach chutney and southern corn pudding.
Though I have never waited for a
table, the re-opening and re-modeling of adjacent bar Addix has made parking a
difficult proposition. That is my lone complaint. The interior, even when
packed, is never noisy, and the windows along the perimeter allow guests to
engage in peerless people watching.
Ciro’s Cibi Italiani – map – 9755 Katy Freeway
My mother and I
have extolled the rich flavors cooked up at this casual but cultivated
restaurant for almost two decades. The food and experience never disappoint at
an Italian cuisine hub ideal for both extended lunches with friends and first
dates. When I want to splurge for a bowl of fetuccine alfredo, I satisfy my
jones for it here. End your garlic-filled excursion with the chocolate mousse
pie or a sweet and smooth something from the gelato bar.
The baby back ribs—which my
palate assumes are rubbed and cooked in brown sugar and chili powder among
other seasonings—deliver an assailment of zip and succulence. Forget Simon
Cowell’s vapid, overdramatic TV talent show. These ribs have the real X-Factor,
as do the house made side dishes. Sometimes I even stop by to fetch jumbo-sized
containers of the macaroni and green beans without purchasing any meat. Any
spud lovers also into baseball should try The Big Puma Tater, a
stuffed-to-the-brim homage to former Astros first baseman and franchise icon
Lance Berkman, unless, of course, they still begrudge the career renaissance
that followed his Houston
departure.
Gaido’s Seafood – map
– 3828 Seawall Boulevard
I will let the menu descriptions do the talking: Parmesan
encrusted asparagus topped with jumbo lump crab; house salad with house made
honey-pecan vinaigrette; pecan-crusted catfish topped with sweet corn relish;
house filet of salmon stuffed with mascarpone cheese; Brentwood soft shell crab
with a roasted coconut coating and a poblano pear chutney; smooth southern
grits and grilled shrimp lightly drizzled with a sweet and smokey chipotle
glaze.
The restaurant also sells a black hardback book filled with
the Gaido family’s prepared-with-care, intricate, time-consuming recipes, and
it includes cocktails and desserts. Good luck duplicating any of them at home.
I have not encountered any barbecue in any part of the world
better than sauce-soaked meats served up in Driftwood, Texas at The Salt Lick. Houstonians pining
for beef, sausage, turkey, chicken and all the fixins do not need to high tail
it to Austin ,
though, to find a smoked, chopped and sliced Shangri-la.
Jim Goode opened the original location on Kirby in 1977, and
the experience still lives up to the sterling reputation the barbecue restaurant
earned all those years ago. I keep coming back for more of the divine sweet
water duck – what other BBQ taverns have duck on the menu? – and the stuffed
baked potatoes. I put brisket or sausage in mine, ask for extra sour cream, a
dollop of sauce then chow down like the apocalypse is imminent. The homemade
pies would look and taste great alongside any Thanksgiving spread. I save room
for a slice by taking half of the duck home. I then lord over my colleagues, or
whichever unlucky souls must eat in the same room with me the next day, that my
leftovers are better than theirs. I don’t share. You won’t, either.
In high school, I knew making the grade would enhance my
college prospects and prepare me for a successful life. I credit my parents for
instilling in me the importance of a quality education. Something else, though,
motivated me to earn high Bs and As. I knew that an exceptional report card
might yield a congratulatory/celebratory dinner at this
way-better-than-Benihana house of teriyaki steak and showmanship. The only
things that have changed about H.B. since my days at Westfield High School
are the move to a standalone spot further down 1960 and the $2 up charge to
order the special fried rice.
Put those Benjamins to good use and watch as the chef
skillfully cooks the table’s food selections, executing tricks that range from
tossing eggs in the air and catching them in a bowl to stacking onions and
lighting them on fire to first resemble a volcano then a moving train. Many
cooks over the years have provided comic relief—“choo choo” noises during the
onion stacking bit and celebrity jokes fit for the Tonight Show—at no extra
charge. The Japanese salad and onion soup prove that a meal at this restaurant,
with another location in Humble, is good for more than jocular entertainment.
Your taste buds will get more of a workout than your laugh box.
A few eateries on this list allure a specific clientele and
a homogenous crowd. An impoverished or low-income family cannot pony up for a
$37 steak or a $120 bill. Jax Grill attracts a gamut of Houston residents—from
the downtown office crowd at lunch, to retired couples, to tatted up bikers
with Mohawks, to groups of female friends, to large families—because the
affordable selection pleases and impresses folks from all socio-economic levels
and backgrounds. A zydeco band gets the joint jumping on Friday and Saturday
nights.
The $9 chicken fried chicken platter (ask to substitute a
baked potato for $1 extra) comes with a bowl of luscious, finger-lickin’ good
cream gravy. It is remarkable and delectable enough that I scoop it out with a
spoon once I have finished the superb cut of chicken. I may need to enter a
12-step program to kick my addiction.
Who knew that the microwave-able, cheapo convenience store
standard and children’s treat from a Kraft box would become a gourmet staple at
swanky eateries? Dressed-up macaroni dishes with specialty cheeses have joined
sweet potato fries as expected items on upscale restaurant menus everywhere. Of
all the renditions in Houston ,
though, one picayune abode gets it right – and any operation gutsy enough to
fill its carte du jour with just macaroni (and a few other offerings) better
get it right.
The now popular combination of Gruyere cheese and truffle
oil tends to fall short of my lofty expectations. Shade, I’m looking in your
direction.
‘Jus Mac makes its featured food 18 different ways. Try the
All American topped with colby jack, the Pit Master loaded with brisket and
colby jack, The Taco Mexi, The Broc or The Goat Cheese, to name a few. The
cooks top off every bowl with breadcrumbs, a winning touch that adds to the
festival of flavor. Want an appetizer? The fried mac balls with bacon are
wicked.
This Montrose-area neighborhood eatery cooks up Chinese
cuisine as fulfilling as anything I have sampled in the San Francisco and New York Chinatowns for, in
some cases, a fraction of the cost. This establishment balances economy and
quality with enviable consistency, providing lunch bargains that astonish with
flavor as much as low price. Come taste why patrons in the nearby residential
hot spots have frequented Kam’s since its doors opened in 1988.
A re-assuring word for the skeptical Chinese connoisseurs:
This is as far from standard, pabulum Cantonese as it gets in Houston
without venturing to Chinatown . There is
nothing bromidic about the beef orange zen or the sweet and tangy honey
chicken. The pan-fried pork dumplings are divine, especially when dipped or
drenched in a mild-to-medium mixture of the pot sticker, chili and jalapeno
sauces. The lone drawback here is parking behind the building in a lot shared
with tenants in a squalid apartment complex. My money says you will forget that
oddity the moment you enter the front door. Everything thereafter, from the
service to the meal-ending dip into the fortune-cookie jar, will steal your
heart.
Patrons should heed the warning
that accompanies the menacing but irresistible picture of the towering
cheesecake shake on every Katz’s menu: Do not operate heavy machinery while
drinking one or just after consumption. The nectarous concoction mixes ice
cream, milk and a colossal slice of any of the available dessert cakes. The
award-winning matzo ball soup merits enshrinement in a restaurant dish Hall of
Fame and works as a hearty appetizer (order a cup) or a main course (order a
bowl).
The mournful closure of the Austin location in January 2011 makes the Westheimer spot
the lone full-service Katz’s in Texas ,
apart from an express version of the deli in The Woodlands. Other dainty
delights at this New York-style charcuterie, which is open 24-7, include the
fried chicken, the Yankee pot roast sandwich and the Challah French toast.
Laurenzo’s
El Tiempo Cantina –
map
– 3130
Richmond Avenue
Margarita aficionados herald the
top-shelf treats poured at the bar, and Tex-Mex addicts hanker for then savor
the finest fare in town. If the three words “filet mignon fajitas” do not
provoke uncontrollable salivation, then either you are a vegetarian—by no means
a deal-killer at El Tiempo—or you hate delicious food. The numerous items on
the menu I have ordered—from the guacamole, to the queso with beef brisket, to
the various flautas, to the salads and crispy tacos—are all memorable, to the
point I experience separate cravings for each dish at least once a month.
Make reservations or prepare to
wait up to 45 minutes during peak dinner hours at any of the five Houston locations. Take
it from someone who has sampled the victuals at more than 100 Tex-Mex joints in
the area: It cannot, it does not get better than this.
Laurenzo’s Prime Rib – map –4412 Washington Avenue
The service at Laurenzo’s would fit at Laurenzo’s Prime Rib – map –
Owned and operated by the same family that brought Houston El Tiempo Cantina, Laurenzo’s may not rank as the city’s top steakhouse, but for my money, it serves the best cut of meat, bar none, in
Not in the mood for a steak or one of the famous prime rib
selections? Try the baby back ribs, a scrumptious salad, a burger or the
Tex-Mex specialties.
One of the busiest and priciest options on this
27-restaurant tabulation, Travis Lenig and Lance Fegen’s seafood eatery is
located in the heart of the Heights with an alpine “EAT” sign in its bitty parking
lot. The also cramped dining space makes long waits on weeknights and weekends
inevitable. Take one bite of any dish on the inspired bill of fare, though, and
you will understand this spot’s unrelenting popularity.
I have long been disgusted by most of the offerings in the
shellfish category. Shrimp, to me, is malodorous and unappetizing. Yuck.
Lobster, a worshiped delicacy for some, is a rubbery devil I avoid. Why rave,
then, about this place? The first batch of fried oysters I ever savored – and I
have been trying to like oysters in every form possible since childhood – is
the one I ordered from the “hands on” section of the menu here.
Most of the meat offerings are divided into lists of
“runners” and “swimmers.” Among those choices, the yellow-fin tuna mignon with
indo soy butter and sour cream mashed potatoes reigns supreme. It is the sort
of splendid plate uneducated foodie wannabes like to pretend is only available
in Paris , Beverly Hills
and Manhattan .
The asparagus with bacon jam – I repeat: bacon jam. Oh My God – is an
unforgettable accompaniment to any entrée. Save room for the finest bowl of
bread pudding extant. Leaving behind any of the raspberry or caramel sauces and
doubled sweet cream feels like a crime worthy of incarceration.
Here is a real shocker: The Chinese restaurant that supplanted the now under whelming Fu’s Garden as a personal favorite is in a part of
It took me far too long to sample
the ballyhooed cuisine at Ocean
Palace . Friends have
implored me for years to seek out the striking, two-story building on Bellaire Boulevard
that houses the kitchen and elephantine, elegant dining rooms. I thank those
friends. Soon, you will thank me. Though other choices in the pan-Asian
community – it should be noted that the area also has Viatnemese, Thai,
Malaysian, Filipino, Laotian, Korean, Indonesian and Taiwanese foods – may get
more recent critical acclaim or votes of authenticity, Ocean Palace grabs my
attention and my ultimate seal of approval.
I could make dinner recommendations,
but instead, I beseech you to make time for the Sunday dim sum.
Typical suburban eateries litter Atascocita, from Chili’s to
Denny’s to perhaps the most disgusting Jack in the Box on the planet. The
area’s adventurous residents seeking a respite from food chains available in
anytown, USA will find
solace at this cozy Thai jewel positioned between Lake Houston
and Humble. The chicken curry puffs served with chili and cucumber dipping
sauces burst with flavor. The peanut sauce works in concert with almost any
dish. That utensil with a circular end, then, comes in handy when scooping up
those last spoonfuls. This place dispatches bland in favor of exquisite and
exotic. The gracious, sans-pareil service also earns this place a winning vote.
Like Steven Segal, the generous portions at this
Spring-based sanctuary of home cooking will kick your butt. Try leaving this
place hungry, and you’ll be sprayed with a loaded magazine’s worth of hot rolls
and endure a roundhouse kick of cream gravy. In a word, the food here is yummy. As the restaurant’s name
suggests, the menu features enough potato options to satisfy a person’s carbohydrates
threshold for a week in one sitting.
Ask for the free appetizer of fried green tomatoes and fried
okra. Follow that with a mammoth chicken fried steak or the prime rib. Good
luck saving room for dessert. Come with a hankering, and leave so stuffed you
can’t walk straight.
Prego – map – 2520 Amherst Street
Pizza Hut and Domino’s can indeed hit the spot following a period of intense, stomach-is-growling-like-a-Grizzly-bear hunger. Houstonians, though, deserve a slice that tastes good any time, any day and anywhere. They shouldn’t have to dial 713- or 281-GREASY-BLEH anytime they want
The toppings are plentiful and savory, and the tomato sauce
compliments the hand-tossed or deep-dish dough. Just try and resist the smell
when you get a large box of this pizza into your car or your house. I dare you.
Anyone living outside the loop, or the immediate vicinity,
is out of luck when it comes to delivery, but the trip to either saucy, sapid
site will prove well worth it.
This always packed chicken-n-waffles spot bursts with
Marcus Davis wanted to honor and continue his father’s
legacy as a heralded restaurant owner when he opened this Jamaican joint in
2001. The result: a bustling, award-winning establishment that has even earned
two thumbs up from a United
States president. You may wait as much as an
hour on the weekends, but you will leave with a mirthful belly and the
predilection to return as often as possible. I guarantee it, mon! Just ask Dwight
Howard.
Named after the domicile where scientist Charles Darwin resided for 40 years, this Heights eatery and bar offers an eclectic but limited menu. The word “limited,” however, does not apply to the execution or presentation of the establishment’s snacks and entrees. The cheese plates will impress and massage your palate with myriad flavors. The fries rank as
This bantam Humble spot wins the award for unlikeliest
exquisite dining experience. A dilapidated boxcar next to a railroad track
does not beckon patrons in search of distinctive Italian fare. Appearances can
deceive. The opaque, candlelit interior invites customers to linger, pop an
expensive wine bottle and savor the considerable efforts of the adjacent
kitchen. The chef serves up everything from a delicate osso bucco to half
chicken baked with garlic cloves, bacon and mushrooms. With upscale prices and
an inconvenient location, save this one for a serious date, a marriage proposal
or an anniversary.
Behind a Wal-Mart in the several-block area on FM 1960 where
Humble becomes Atascocita, Tin Roof makes bellies and taste buds happy. Plan to
feel full after a smoked-meat excursion here. As with Demeris, the side dishes
merit special attention. The macaroni and cheese, mixed veggies and grilled
potatoes go great with the tender pulled pork or the moist sausage. The sauce
may prove too saccharine for some, but in small doses, it adds another
dimension to the well-marbled, slow cooked meats. Share an order of onion rings
on the outdoor patio on a rare 70-degree night.
As late as last year, the popular Galleria restaurant was still known as Zucchini’s Farm-to-Market-Café. The fresh food destination, housed two floors above the mall’s famous ice skating rink, has been a favorite since childhood. The owner, though, decided in 2011 to remodel the space and revamp the menu.
While I preferred the open ambiance of Zucchini’s, the
elegant facelift adds to White Oak’s comforting feel amidst shopping bedlam.
The spread ranges from healthy, green options to pasta to an A+ cheeseburger.
Serious offer: Try the burger, and if it does not rank as one of the best you
have ever tasted, I will cover your check. It is that spectacular.
--Robert Kleeman
--Robert Kleeman